“A Common Idol Between Islam and Hinduism” –

08 Jul

What the munaafiqiin will eventually come up with before they pledge allegiance to the dajjal…

 As-Salamu ‘Alaikum

هَاجِهِمْ وَجِبْرِيلُ مَعَكَ

Translation of meaning: Mock them [i.e., infidels and enemies of Islam] and Jibreel’s with you [to help you]!

(Prophet’s permission and command to Hassan bin Thabit to mock the infidels and enemies of Islam, in Sahiih Hadiith)

Islamic Disclaimer:

This is a VERY DELIBERATE mocking, humiliating, parodying and satirizing of the munaafiqeen, their debauchery, their equivocation, and their struggle in the cause of satan and the anti-Christ to try to hurt Islam and propagate kufr.

The munaafiqeen work with a mixture of truths and lies and engage in equivocation and prevarication – they state some aspects of the truth or hint towards it – and then equate it with falsehood – so that they can massage the egos of their kafir masters and subtly express their loyalty to them AND at the same time corrupt the faiths of Muslims who have weak knowledge or faith AND ALSO attempt at escaping from admonishment by ordinary Muslims should they ever take them to task, by employing shamelessly yet carefully crafted esoteric interpretations.

Alhamdulillah for the Quran which categorically calls the munaafiqeen as liars despite their uttering of the shahadah; and the ways of our Beloved Prophet ﷺand his blessed companions, and the classical scholars of Islam who have taught us well how to catch these rotten, illegitimate sons of satan out.

The Quran calls the munaafiqeen as liars despite their utterance of the noblest of truths, that our Master Muhammad ﷺ is Allah’s Messenger (see 63:1). The reason for this is the munaafiqeen’s evil and sly mannerisms of engaging in prevarication.

In the below satirization and parodying of the speech of the munaafiqeen too, which exposes their disgraceful communication styles and blaspheming, you will find some statements that are true and some statements that are absolute kufr. The expressly stated aim of this post is only to shame, mock, humiliate, disgrace, and insult these wretched, hidden enemies of Islam. Alhamdulillah, a lot of their heretical concepts have been refuted in the various posts, by Allah’s leave, with sufficient proofs from our Islamic tradition, and we shall carry on with destroying their heresies and zandaqah.

While their equivocation and prevarication are in order to cause doubts and hurt the faiths of Muslims, this below parody of their prevaricating communication styles is to severely ridicule, shame, and humiliate them and help Muslims manifestly see their hidden enmity against Islam & Muslims and their desire to negate Allah’s deen. I have also added minor footnotes, which are outside of the satirizing and parodying, to elaborate on some things.

The title says what they will eventually engage in before they pledge allegiance to the dajjal, la’anahumu(A)llah.

Always ridicule and humiliate the munaafiqeen and scholars of evil. There is a great thawab in it. Without further ado…


A Common Idol Between Islam and Hinduism

Roughly 40% of the world’s population adheres to either the Islamic (23.2%) or the Hindu (15%) faith, so finding some common ground between the people practicing these two faiths is of paramount importance and our salvation depends on it.

Islam is the religion of adhering to the Tawhiid of the Only True God of all Creation, Who is Eternally Absolute without a beginning, Who does not resemble His creation which is encompassed in time and space that He created, Who has no like in His Self or Attributes, Whose Self & Attributes are free from divisibility or multiplicity, Who is exalted above needing anything at all, Who does not have a partner, or an opposite, or a child, Who does not have an end to His Existence or His Divine Attributes, Who doesn’t have a shape or size or color or a limit, Who does not need anything (like time or space) to exist in, Who does not sleep or rest or age or go through changes, Who is not dependent on anything or anyone, Who is free of all imperfections like lying or ignorance, Who does with His creation as He Wills nothing being incumbent upon Him – and accepting and following His Messengers in the laws He decreed for humans.

When we consider Islam and Hinduism together, it seems like comparing Pacific Rose Apples and toxicodendron radicans[1] – but that’s only to the untrained Muslim who hasn’t been trained in the Californian revisionism of Islam. Islam, to the uneducated 95% of the Muslim world dwelling in the ghettos of the Middle East, Asia & North Africa, it would seem, is the very antithesis of worshiping creation, be it a living or deceased human, or an angel or a lifeless idol that can be smashed to dust.

Idolatry is consonant with most modern understandings of Hinduism. This understanding is very simplistic, black & white, and assumes that all Hindus either worship His Holiness Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, or the 13-limbed, blue-bodied, red-lipped, tongue lolling clay figurines of elephant-headed monkeys – that have fascinated the hearts and souls of millions of people in the Indian subcontinent, parts of Asia and also such notable, high-profile westerners like Julia Roberts, George Harrison, and Alfred Ford among others.

Despite the Hanafi & Maliki jurists’ ruling in favor of slapping the jizyah on the Hindus and accepting them as dhimmis, something that the Shafi’iy & Hanbali jurists did not permit, their ruling being that anyone other than the people of the book only have the option to convert to Islam or face the sword should Islam conquer their lands – most Muslims accuse those of the Hindu and Buddhist traditions as being idolaters with such ease, without even thinking once about the serious ramifications of anathematizing an individual in the Islamic tradition – only because of the Hindus’ veneration of images and figurines and its close association with the idolatry of the pre-Islamic Arabs! We all need to work towards an agenda to change this condition of Islam and not let all these pygmies hijack our great religion.

Anyhow, when we get into a deeper and more nuanced examination – coupled with the enlightenment of Orientalism, the sophistication of the Ismaili Batiniism & Perennialism, and the zeal of the Californian revisionist school of thought, all of which aim to correct the follies that Muslim scholars and commoners alike have accumulated over the last 1435 years – we do realize that just as Pacific Rose Apples and toxicodendron radicans are flora, Islam and Hinduism too are religions, and religions are followed by common people too, along with scholars.

While the foundational and belief-based differences between the truth-based Islamic faith and Hindu mythology can simply never be reconciled, there can indeed be something that lays a common ground between the adherents of these two faiths and something that unites them in a common bond of Muslim-mushrik fraternal love, an awe-inspiring communion of two opposites. One just needs to look for it and not ignore any profound & nuanced subtleties that are common to people of both these great traditions.

With that in mind, I agreed to oblige my good friend & fellow Perennialist, who also happens to be an Ismaili and therefore a Batini[2], Reza Alizadeh Qomi – and co-author a book with him in search of a common catalyst between Islam and Hinduism. The key was to start looking into this 40% of the world’s population that adheres to these two profound traditions of Islam and Hinduism and look for a value, a precept, a normative behavior pattern, or anything at all – that all these wonderful people share. Then suddenly, I struck into something extremely profound and magnificent. Indeed this is not just shared by 40% of the world’s population, but rather by an estimated 6.5 billion people (roughly 92% of the world’s population) in its various nuanced versions, styles and languages!

It’s an “idol” that most probably most of both peoples from Muslims and Hindus have placed in their homes at a certain time in their lives, and gazed at in stupendous awe! I know I will encounter accusations of blasphemy and hypocrisy for merely suggesting that there can be something even remotely common between Islam and Hinduism. More so the idea of an “idol” common to both Muslims and Hindus would sound so utterly repulsive and appalling to the majority of unsophisticated knucklehead Muslims living outside of the San Francisco Bay Area that they would subject me to wanton pronunciations of zandaqah and nifaaq without even batting an eyelid.

I would like to offer a nuanced explanation of “idol” here. I am not talking about the images of monkeys with the heads of elephants screwed on them, or the exceptionally ugly & repulsive figurines of Hindu objects of worship in various Kamasutra postures carved onto the wall panels of the magnificent Khajurao Temples, but rather I am talking about something incredibly simple, post-modern and new-age – a marvelous “idol” that most Muslims have already placed in their homes without thinking much about it, just like most Hindus have.

I don’t know if anyone has been able to get what I am talking about based on my extremely nuanced usage of the word “idol”, but in this essay, I am talking about the Idols franchise of reality shows, which has made its way to more than 46 territories across the globe; about a very special character from it.

The Idols series have now reached various parts of the globe, including the bulk majority of Muslim and Muslim-majority lands such as Arab Idol, Indonesian Idol, Bangladeshi Idol, Malaysian Idol, Pakistan Idol, and the equally patterned but alternatively named Turkstar and Superstar KZ (Kazakhstan).

Indeed the series has also reached India, the birthplace of Hinduism, in the form of Indian Idol. It is worth noting that India also has a Muslim population of roughly 200 million. Furthermore, the commonalities between Indian Idol and Arab Idol, along with the rest of the Idols shows like Pakistan Idol, Malaysian Idol, & Indonesian Idol, are certainly worth contemplating.

Just as the Muslim conquerors of the Indian subcontinent marveled at the profound spirituality found in the Hindu tradition in India when they arrived in India, Muslim contestants at the various Idols shows too marvel at the profound spirituality of the judges like Randy Jackson, Ragheb Alama and Anu Malik.

Before we explore the origins of these magnificent reality shows, it is worth noting that the imams of Al-Azhar in Egypt identify the Muslim fans of Arab Idol or Pakistan Idol or Malaysian Idol and so on, as Muslims and not apostates, despite senselessly appointing vocalists as their musical Idols by popular vote – which is a consequential categorization, given the status sinful Muslims have in the Quran as being eventually saved from hellfire according to the dominant theological positions of the Ash’ari & Maturidi schools and their constrained anthropodicy on sinful Muslims. The mufti board at Al-Azhar argued with sound logic, that the Muslim fans of Carmen Suleiman or Dounia Batma or Muhammad Assaf, do not worship them but rather just cheer them on as vocalist celebrities. This act can be considered sinful but not idolatry. It isn’t like the practices of the Hindus who venerate images and figurines of Krishna, something that we have said has close associations to the idolatry of the pre-Islamic Arabs, or the Buddhists who venerate the figurines of the Buddha, a character that preached denial of God and also denial of prophethood[3].

The Idols series started in England with the British show Pop Idol, initiated by Simon Fuller, with Simon Cowell as one of the judges. It was then adapted in another European nation, and has since then been to 46 different territories across the globe. Idols attained full momentum in their international success only after the American public and consequently the world witnessed first-hand, the rarified metaphysical dispositions of Simon Cowell on American Idol.

Although most traditional scholars of pop culture following the profound Scientology tradition consider Simon Fuller as the driving force behind the success of the Idols shows, a lot of the British entertainment specialists, along with the Americans, hold a heterodox opinion in contradistinction to the position held by Scientologists in the pop-music industry, and rule that Simon Cowell is the actual driving force behind the success of the shows while Simon Fuller is only the concept initiator, and I have buttressed this position in the above paragraph. Please see my papers Who are the Scientologists? and A Common Bridge Between Islam and Scientology for a deeper examination of this subject.

Moving ahead, while it is true that Simon Cowell has nothing to do with either of these two religious traditions of Islam and Hinduism, or perhaps with the promotion of the Idols franchise in the Arab & Muslim world or the Indian subcontinent & the Hindu world, I was simply baffled by the strength of his arguments critiquing the contestants’ vocalization talents. Take for instance, “Not in a billion years. There’s only so many words I can drag out of my vocabulary to say how awful that was.” 

Indeed, many of the Idols series judges worldwide, have tried to model their critiques after those of Simon Cowell, but have failed miserably. However, the various shows’ contestants, judges, and audiences have acquired the intrinsic and universally profound spiritual disposition of reality shows – a strong desire or eventually a chance to appear on TV and grab their 45 seconds of fame – something that has great spiritual value to most people in the world today.

It is for this reason that I declare Simon Cowell to be ‘A Common Idol Between Islam and Hinduism’. I could have chosen one of the many Arab or Indian or Malaysian or Indonesian or Bangladeshi Idols (a nuanced reference to winners of the shows) to be this common Idol between Islam and Hinduism, or any of the star-judges from the Idols shows in these nations, watched by the people of these two marvelous traditions of Islam and Hinduism, but it would be a great injustice to the man who took the series to the rest of the world, and for Muslims and Hindus alike to senselessly sit glued to the TV and watch people get insulted and make such marvelous fools of themselves.

Indeed, selecting a Muslim-by-tradition or Hindu-by-tradition Idol from the winners, or the judges of the shows would have been problematic too – for then such a person could be construed by extremists of either faith to NOT be a “common” Idol between these two great religions, but rather an exclusively Muslim Idol or an exclusively Hindu Idol. It was Simon Cowell who was able to elucidate an orthodox and original performance in his capacity as a reality show judge to help us resolve the thorny issue of appointing a COMMON Idol between Islam and Hinduism. 

Simon Cowell and the Idols series in the Muslim Hadiith tradition?

Imam Ash-Shafi’iy is reported to have said, “I haven’t debated with a knowledgeable person except that I silenced him; and I haven’t debated with an idiot except that he silenced me!” The heavy import of this saying of Imam Ash-Shafi’iy, the founder of one of the four schools of thought followed by orthodox Islam, if applied in a very subtly nuanced context of reality shows, is that it is jurisprudentially prohibited for us to judge any contestant as an idiot, until he/she opens his/her mouth. Simon Cowell, despite not being a follower of the Islamic tradition, offers his wise critiques on the contestants only after they have performed, and even then, he is very cautious not to call people “idiots”. Rather he offers nuanced criticisms, like “And that sounded like Stevie Wonder with a really bad cold”, and/or advises on spiritual advancement and self-improvement with valuable advise like “You’re taking singing lessons? Who’s your music teacher? Do you have a lawyer? Get a lawyer and sue her!”

The scholars of evil, zanaadiiq sufis, and the munaafiqeen engaging in equivocation and prevarication face enormous difficulties in informing the nonMuslim nation, with all its rich and diversified intramural traditions – that disbelief in Islam – whether it may be Christianity, or Judaism, or communism, or Hinduism, or Buddhism, or atheism – leads to everlasting torment in the inferno.

For all such scholars of evil, zanaadiiq sufis, and munaafiqiin, I would like to inform them of a profound comment by Simon Cowell, a judge of the Idols and The X-Factor reality shows tradition.

That statement is:

‘“I haven’t done anything particularly harsh. Harshness to me is giving somebody false hopes and not following through. That’s harsh. Telling some guy or girl who’s got zero talent that they have zero talent actually is a kindness.”

I would like to defend Simon Cowell here a little bit, and by ‘defend’, I mean explain. The statement – not necessarily the very subtly nuanced context of the pop music and reality show industry – is the aim behind the A Common Idol Between Islam and Hinduism and the A Common Bridge Between Islam and Scientology initiatives of the mockery of the scholars of evil, the munaafiqeen and the zindiiq sufis of our times. They could indeed learn this act of kindness from him, in the general application of speaking the truth about the hereafter of the people of other traditions, and thus serve the doubled up aims of helping in the propagation of Islam, as well as helping people save their hereafter.

Very, very often, a distorted understanding of the reality shows traditions and vocal performances causes us to demonize Simon Cowell as a cold, dry, stone-hearted snob. The Islamic Hadiith tradition informs us that wisdom is the lost property of a believer, and that wherever he finds it, he has the right to take it, and it is due to this reason that we have referenced this profound saying of Simon Cowell, who is a common idol between Islam and Hinduism – that it is actually kindness to shatter people’s FALSE hopes and let them see the REALITY of where they are headed – a saying that finds parallels in the Islamic wisdom of warning people – even though he had only uttered it in the subtly nuanced context of pop music and reality shows. 

We are very pleased at now having located two common catalysts between the followers of Islam, and another two great traditions – those of Scientology and Hinduism.

Our mission shall go on and we shan’t cease or ever develop an iota of shame or decency.

Jamal Samson, SIDI

Equivocation’s our vocation!

SIDI Registration No. 85446123907

Master Adab Practitioner & Honorary Fellow, Global Adab Society, Cambridge, UK

No. 64 on White House authorized list of Top 500 Most Influential Muslims

Our mission statement – To stimulate ever-evolving sophistry and philosophical discussions on where mankind is headed in the hereafter; and work hard to ensure that such evolution is not deterred or censured by the conclusivity and certainty of Islamic textual evidence, traditional orthodoxy and belief.


Legal Disclaimer: The above essay “A Common Idol Between Islam and Hinduism” is a fictional and satirical piece attributed to a fictional character, Jamal Samson, SIDI, invented by the blog owner, which also includes some independent opinions and personal appraisals regarding the Idols series of shows owned and/or operated by Fremantle Media Ltd. and Simon Cowell, and some other personalities of the entertainment & media industry. No claims are made to the accuracy or inaccuracy of the information regarding the Idols shows or Simon Cowell or the quotes attributed to Simon Cowell.


Non-Satirical Footnotes:

[1] – Toxicodendron radicans is commonly known as the poison ivy weed.

[2] – The ismailis are an extreme shiite cult who are batini atheists that are disillusioned into thinking that they are Muslims. They are so evil that Imam Al-Ghazali penned down two monographs refuting their heresies and apostasies and also laying out their modus operandi to misguide Muslims, his very famous and well-acknowledged Al-Fadayih Al-Baatiniyyah, and also the shorter Al-Qawasim Al-Batiniyyah.

Furthermore, Imam Abul Fath Muhammad ibn ‘Abd  Al-Kariim Ash-Shahrastani, a contemporary of Imam Ghazali, has written a very systematized and nuanced book on the various beliefs and creeds of just about all the people in the world in his time, as he knew them – called Al-Milal Wa An-Nihal. In that book, he very lucidly points out all the nuances of the various evil beliefs of the batinis and ismailis.

The batinis are essentially disillusioned apostates – disillusioned esoterists who reject the letter and the externalization of the law of the Shari’ah, and come up with fantasies that THEY believe to be the spirit of it. They then get so lost and entangled within themselves, that they start believing in their hallucinations of what they dreamt to be the spirit of the law, to be the letter of the law!

The scholars of Islam are unanimous in declaring the batinis and ismailis as apostates. 

[3] – Despite preaching AGAINST believing in Allah & His Prophets, and also their names NOT being mentioned in any Divine Revelation, two cults of apostates consider the hindu and buddhist objects of worship like ram, krishna, and buddha to have been past prophets:

a) The qadiyanis who like to call themselves “ahmadiyya muslims”; and

b) the satanic cult of munafiq and zindiq sufis who can’t get enough of the filth of the batinis and their foremost sect, the ismailis. These hypocrites claim to be Ahlus Sunnah and Ash’ari/Maturidi but they are far removed from Islam. Their role models and closest friends and associates are the qadiyanis, the batinis, the ismailis and the perennialists, all of whom are apostates, munaafiqeen or zanadiq.

It is incredibly amusing that these cults consider the buddha, ram, and krishna to be past prophets of Allah’s Tawhiid, when they are in fact known to be DENIERS OF PROPHETHOOD, both by Muslims, as well as by their own hindu and buddhist devotees!

Ash-Shahrastani, in his book Al-Milal Wa An-Nihal, in the third part of the book, wherein he primarily talks about the pagans – in the concerned section mentioning about the religions of the people of India, he says that – the nonMuslim populace of India can essentially be divided into 5 categories. One of these categories is the barahima (i.e., brahmins), who are ALL REJECTORS OF PROPHETHOOD. He goes on to classify the buddhists are one of three subsets of the barahima, the other two subsets being people of heretical contemplation like devotion to stars and astrology etc, and the people believing in re-incarnation. (Please see Al-Milal Wa An-Nihal, pages 704-714)


And Allah is our Helper against the kafirs, the munaafiqiin, and the evil group of the dajjal that has manifested itself. 


2 responses to ““A Common Idol Between Islam and Hinduism” –

  1. Shoaib Tanvir

    March 8, 2016 at 5:57 am

    Assalam Alaikum,

    I am going through the articles on your site (having just recently discovered it) and the thought that keeps coming to my mind, besides marveling at the level of intelligence, passion, and competence, is that I wish I had found it sooner.

    Allah bless you brother.

  2. idesireranks

    March 12, 2016 at 7:42 am

    Learned about Buddha in school…the mushrik abandoned his family, went against his parents wishes and started preaching batil to people who were already mushriks everywhere. He was just another sectarian among the mushrikeen, nothing more. And the Hindu gods do not exist.

    The liar claimed desire is the source of mans suffering. Rather, the source of suffering is sin and kufr but this jahil mushrik didn’t know any better.


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